Epic Fail

After a full and easy going day, there typically isn’t any legitimate reason to feel tremendously anxious. And yet, this week I have found myself with token symptoms of chronic anxiety: restlessness, indecision, hot flashes, paranoia…  I BLAME IT ON ROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN SEASON.

It used to be fun!

It used to be just another perk to choosing Tim Horton’s coffee over the ol’ American coffee giants!

I’ve never actually believed in fate or dumb-luck; I like to think that I create my own opportunities, and with this hymn I suppose I’ve gone and induced my own anxiety since I sincerely think that my ‘win’ will be deserved, and based on some hard-pressed decision that I made.

Problem: I can’t figure out which decision that will be!

Does rolling before finishing your drink matter? (I’m channeling my childhood suspicions of my dishwasher’s performance anxiety, where every time I opened the door it would stop). Will I win my brand new SUV or $10,000 by deciding to go in the morning rather than in the afternoon? Or vice versa? Or both?! Or both, plus a last-ditch attempt at the end of the day? And then there’s always the “what size do I feel like, versus, which size is more likely to a) be a winner and b) be a large prize” complex. What happens when you and a fellow Tim Horton’s-goer arrive at the door at the same time? If you’re both prepared to order the same size beverage, one could be the winner and one not; one of you could win BIG and the other, a donut! Do you let that patron order before you? Should I push through people to get on a packed TTC Streetcar, or just wait for the next one? Do I walk, skip or jog? Timing could very well be THE decision. And the worst part, you’ll probably never know the outcome of said decision.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the dos and don’ts of the ‘lending/borrowing of money, or purchasing someone else’s coffee’ etiquette I’ve so masterfully calculated…YOU JUST DON’T DO THAT!!

These are the kinds of scenarios I face during this cruel season. I’ve fallen victim to Roll up the Rim to Win Fever (RRWF) – self-diagnosed of course – which I’m sure is sweeping the nation. I find myself, and others (I’m not alone in this…right?) compulsively peering into garbage cans and recycling receptacles, and even down alley-ways filled with litter, on a quest to spot unrolled rims! I’m almost incapable of making spatial and temporal decisions with any sense of poise or coolness – the most pronounced symptom of this condition.

By the way, I’m 0 for 5 in the last 2 days, and I can’t say I love that…

-Smashley

Tag . Brands, Marketing, Random, What's Happening